Amid all the big things...

happening in our life, are we forgetting the small kindnesses? For, these are what make the difference. These are what make life fulfilling...and happy...

Thinking about...

leisure.

According to the Free Dictionary, leisure is:

1. Free time when one is not working or attending to other duties.

2. Relaxation or activities engaged in during such time: the pursuit of leisure.

3. At leisure - 

a. having free time for ease, relaxation, etc

b. not occupied or engaged

c. without hurrying

According to the Thesaurus, synonyms for leisure are:

Convenience, recreation, relaxation with quiet and pause coming way down the list

However, if leisure is meant to rejuvenate and refresh us, it must have something to do with our inner being....our core. Our inner core has to feel rejuvenated, maybe even renovated and restored...it has to be made to feel new again from its jaded, tired condition. In that case, these words make sense:

'Leisure, then, is a condition of the soul – (and we must firmly keep this assumption, since leisure is not necessarily present in all the external things like "breaks," "time off," "weekend," "vacation," and so on).

Leisure is an inner absence of preoccupation, a calm, an ability to let things go, to be quiet. Leisure is a form of stillness - only the person who is still can hear, and whoever is not still, cannot hear.'

(I got these words from Brain Pickings)

Sharing this poem by William Henry Davies

Leisure

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

Native American Indians...

have always fascinated me. Their Code of Ethics struck a note deep within me. I'd like to share it:

The Native American Code Of Ethics

1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. If it was not earned or given, it is not yours.

6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth – whether it be people or plant.

7. Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of one’s will within this universe.

15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical self – all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

16. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react. Be responsible for your own actions.

17. Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch the personal property of others – especially sacred and religious objects. This is forbidden.

18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.

19. Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your belief on others.

20. Share your good fortune with others. Participate in charity.

Okay - Not Okay...

It's okay to be bugged and annoyed and irritated; it's even okay to be angry 

It's not okay to be hurtful...

It's not okay to be treated badly or feel used or be made to feel like a spare wheel by someone who has called themselves/herself/himself your friend 

It's okay to feel let down and it's absolutely okay to walk away...

It's not okay to always rush about and worry so 

It's okay to take time off and just sit and watch the world go by...

It's okay to feel rushed or tense about things 

It's not okay to let the feelings linger...

It's not okay to let someone else dominate your life 

It's okay to protest and it's okay to walk away...

It's not okay to have to grovel in apology or stand on your head explaining something that someone - maybe a dear friend or even a spouse - thinks is not the right thing/something you should not have done or said/the right kind of behavior 

It's perfectly okay to feel sorry, say sorry and walk away...

It's not okay to take part in a negative conversation 

It's okay to be silent…

It's not okay to be a Martha all the time and bustle around and fret about the daily, mundane things of life 

It's okay to be a Mary and sit at the feet of God...

It's okay to take time off 

It's not okay to feel as if you are doing something wrong if you are not spending a 'productive' day. Even sitting around is productive, because that is what your body and mind need at that particular time...

It's okay to loosen up and enjoy a smoke, or relish a drink 

It's not okay to make it an addiction...

It's not okay for anyone to make you feel defensive 

It's okay to get mad about it and then just walk away in silence, because, you know, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone... 

It's not okay not to be treated with respect

It's okay to turn your back on those who damage your self-respect and take away from your self-esteem...

It's not okay not to do what is planned for the day 

It's okay though to break the rules and put your feet up and read a book or listen to music...

It's okay to give weightage to another person's likes and dislikes 

But it's not okay to be ruled by them, or to put your likes and dislikes in the last place...

It's okay to have lots of answers 

It's also okay to do nothing but have the wisdom to wait...

It would be good to have a companion 

But, it's okay to walk alone

Something we loners need to understand...

is that it is important to share...

Hugely important.

I know it is very difficult to share especially if one has been alone for a long time, either forced to, or by choice.

Maybe if we look around, we'll see someone with whom we may wish to spend time...it IS important to get out of the shell, or we may end up destroying ourselves...(I know this to be true). Not all the people we extend our hand to will take it....some will, some won't and some may change their mind or we may change our mind about someone. That's okay. But we still need to reach out.

The thing is that unless we share our joys and sorrows with someone (even better if we can share with someone who understands us and appreciates us), those joys and sorrows never become complete. That is, the joys remain unfulfilled, and the sorrows become darker and leave a lingering pain. But if we share them, then the joys become full, filling us with deep happiness and satisfaction, and the sorrows don't seem so bad...they seem cope-able or manageable.

Sharing is important for friendships too for if we value our friendship/s, then by sharing our joys and sorrows, we cement our friendship/s...

From a wonderful book I read...

and which I would recommend strongly:

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

"We can busy ourselves with living or with dying."

And here dying is not the conventional death, but it is the daily dying to ourselves.

For all of us...

who are searching for true independence...

Independence of mind is not what you think but how you think.

Powerful words, these. It is in the how we think - whether we think conventionally and so get caught up in a web not of our making and which we viscerally rebel against; or whether we have allowed ourselves to break out of the bonds that we ourselves have created or allowed ourselves to be boxed into, and think out of the box/multidimensionally/radically/differently from the so-called norm...

For this we have to first find our core. It is only then that we have something to be true to, something to hang on to....kind of our North Star and this then would give us the strength to think the way WE want or feel or believe.

Not easy, but do-able...

Fascinated by these words...

The only thing intelligent about a good art is if it shakes you alive, otherwise it’s hokum.

In all this porn-no-porn hullabaloo...

strangely, no one's talking about how easy access to porn is affecting kids and adolescents...It is a school teacher's worst nightmare come true when she sees a child in her class (going down in some cases to class 4 or 5 even) intent on watching porn on the cellphone - in most cases even without understanding what is happening. I don't even want to talk about how it affects teens and young adults. What happens to these children's minds? Or am I just fretting? Where parents are involved in the lives of their children, it's fine, they'll know how to deal with it, but what about the children who grow up with hardly any adult/parental influence? I'm not saying that banning has ever solved any problem, but to my mind, what it does is that it highlights an issue that needs to be looked at and dealt with.

I simply cannot accept...

the hanging of Yakub Memon. I know with my head that the cards were all stacked against him. I have tried to see it from the points of view and arguments of various people - eminent and the not-so-eminent - as reported in the papers and heard on TV. The picture that emerges is at best a shady mosaic. So how can we say that something that does not have clear contours is a hundred percent correct? I believe with all of my being that for closure to happen there has to be compassion in the heart. I'm not saying exonerate the person who has caused this grievous hurt - am wondering if a punishment like hanging, which is such a violent act, can really heal a heart that has been wounded by an act of senseless violence? Added to this are the cries of those who have not received the same 'closure' on account of the numerous other violent hate-filled incidents. How can we say one kind of mass-killing is worse than another? How can we say that the reasons behind one kind of mass-killing are more justifiable than the reasons behind other mass killings? Is the grief of one set of people whose loved ones have been lost in mass killing greater than the grief of another set of people who have also lost their loved ones in a similar manner? If many people were involved in a mass killing, and only one was caught, then will hanging only this one person be enough for this closure?