Fear

This is an emotion that all of us have experienced at some time or the other, and more times that just once. It is that dreadful emotion that fills our being when our well-being and emotional security is threatened. The physical manifestations are painful. Deep painful breaths, pain in the abdomen, blurred vision, aching head, palpitating heart....each person has his own set of symptoms to match this awful, awful feeling. It is a feeling of helplessness in the face of a steam-rollering event that life puts in our way. The only way to deal with this most dreadful and almost killing emotion is, to first of all, if you can, take deep breaths. If you cannot do this naturally, then consciously force yourself to do this. Just sit down, close your eyes, and one breath at a time, force yourself to breathe in deeply and then exhale. The one thing that you have to remember is that you have to force yourself to do what it takes to cope with this emotion. Another thing is to leave the cause of the fear alone, till you can come back to it in a calmer state of mind. Your whole being wants you to react impulsively. Stop right there. Do not react. Just wait. Just wait till you have got your breath back, and you are in a calmer state of mind. You can only respond to fear if you are calm. Calmness allows clear-thinking. This way the margin for errors will be less, or may even not be there at all. Force yourself not to hurry. We often feel that if we hurry through a fearsome situation, it will go away. It won’t....it will play itself out. So again, force yourself not to hurry. Whatever you are planning to do to respond to this fearsome situation, must be done with deliberation. Slowly, with steadiness and circumspection. You will need to examine the incident from all angles. To do this, you cannot be in a hurry. You will need to force your mind to examine every tiny avenue that opens up. Your physical condition will hamper you, because of the various hormones that are being secreted—your body is also making its own adjustments to the situation it finds itself in. Your concentration should be on the mind. Force the mind to steady. Very, very importantly, keep to the daily routine. The daily chores, the daily round of duties, and routine are the best medication and restoratives ever. Force yourself not to deviate from routine, or break the daily round of duties. Carry on doing what has to be done, and what you normally do, whether it is reading the papers, or washing the dishes, or going for a walk. Physical exercise always helps. If you can, the best thing is to go for long walks. It really clears the mind – cleans it up too of all the negativeness that accompanies fear. Force yourself to do this. Force yourself not to let anything negative enter your mind. Your mind already has the situation on hand to cope with.......Slowly, but surely, you will find yourself becoming steady, calm and the thinking becomes clear and focussed. The fearsome situation will pass in its own time—not one second before or one second after. The next thing, then, is to force yourself to sit out one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time, and so on.....it will pass. But, it will pass only when it is time for it to pass. Force yourself to carry on in spite of----you WILL find the strength to do so. A very comforting thought that helps is to tell yourself that what is happening has a reason, even though you cannot see it just at that time. If you cannot find comfort in telling yourself this, force yourself to repeat that what is happening is happening for a reason. Later, you will see that that very reason will make you a better person, a wiser person, and a more understanding person.

If you are a believer, it is comforting to know that you will never be tested beyond your strength...you will have to find that strength in the depths of your being, and you WILL find it.

A thought

The best thing about being over 50 is that you don't have to impress anyone anymore. You can actually spend time trying to find out who you are deep down, and try to be the person you want to be, or are....all that experience and wisdom you gained getting here is to be used to re-invent and re-affirm yourself....and not to shove down the throats of the young, nor to change the world......NOW IS THE TIME TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. Now is the time to sit back and enjoy the years that are left to you--to do and be all that you wanted. Now is the time to give of yourself to yourself, your family and to those who have stood by you all through the ups and downs of life, especially the downs.

It is true......

It is true that everything that happens to a person - good and bad- happens at the time that it was supposed to happen. Not one breath early, nor one breath late. It is also true that what happens, happens for a purpose...it is wise to find out what that purpose is...it is also wise to face it with gratitude and fortitude. The Dalai Lama was right - accept whatever happens with gratitude, because it is to teach us something that will enhance our own life, and make it better. Bad and evil have always existed, so that we will be conscious of the good. There is a reason for our existence on this earth and till that is fulfilled, we will have to go through the forge...